Harlock

Unable to become the space pirate that he yearns (and deserves) to be, Harlock uses his keen intellect and cutting wit to both lash out at and brutally mock the mundane reality that prevents him from captaining a space battleship. The absence of any retaliation, or even acknowledgement, by said reality only makes him stronger.

Likes include giant robots (especially giant transforming robots), obsequious waiters and other underlings, and elaborate schemes to take over the Earth.

Dislikes include people who don't like giant robots, uppity underlings, and that annoying Mr. Bond.

Columns by Harlock:

9.19.2007: The New Pornographers @ The Warfield
9.5.2007: Halloween! (Costume Status)
8.29.2007: Quick and Late Music Notes
8.8.2007: My Thoughts on Cant
6.20.2007: Cubes and the Pimping Thereof
6.13.2007: Going from Bad to Worse
6.6.2007: The Frat Boy-izing of America
5.30.2007: Planning for Crunch
5.16.2007: Notions of Privacy
5.2.2007: I'll Take Business for $400, Alex
4.25.2007: The Gym!
4.18.2007: Shameless Exploitation
4.11.2007: A Short Walk
4.4.2007: Another Casualty
3.28.2007: Packing the Office
3.21.2007: This Should Be Fun
3.14.2007: Back, With a Quick Rant
2.21.2007: Comparative Weaponology
2.14.2007: And the Award for Most Mediocre Goes to...
2.7.2007: Domes for the Future!
1.31.2007: Out Sick
1.24.2007: Greener Grass
1.17.2007: My Kingdom for a Showerhead
1.10.2007: It's Not Dead, It's Just Resting
1.3.2007: More 2006!
12.27.2006: 2006!
12.20.2006: 2008!
12.13.2006: Jumping at Shadows
11.15.2006: I Told You So
11.8.2006: Election Results
11.1.2006: Blood for Oil
10.25.2006: Iron Fist of Organization
10.18.2006: Incompetence as a Defense
10.11.2006: Joy and Horror
10.4.2006: Studying Things is Expensive
9.27.2006: Judge Them by Their Actions
9.20.2006: I Wanted to Avoid This: Net Neutrality
9.13.2006: Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth: WOXY is Almost Gone
9.6.2006: Nixon and the Moon
8.30.2006: A New Threat to Humanity
8.23.2006: Lengthy Response: Iraq
8.16.2006: Fangs vs. Poison
8.9.2006: More Useful Tools and Related Things
8.2.2006: Useful Tools
7.26.2006: Grab Bag
7.19.2006: Movies
7.12.2006: Rut
7.5.2006: Tires
6.28.2006: There Really is Plenty of Stupid Out There
6.21.2006: Conversation at the Beginning of a Revolution
6.14.2006: Youíre Stupid
6.7.2006: Karma and Computers
5.31.2006: High Horses
5.24.2006: Why The Da Vinci Code Offends Me
5.17.2006: Road Rage
5.10.2006: In Which I Find a Point, and Then Stray from It
5.3.2006: False Familiarity
4.26.2006: Conversation with a Helpful Machine
4.19.2006: Blatant &#*!ing Hypocrisy
4.12.2006: Nukes Bad
4.5.2006: Injustice! Explosions! And Meat!
3.29.2006: Our and Theirs
3.22.2006: The IRS Does Nothing to Improve its Image
3.15.2006: Pens
3.8.2006: Shallow, Content-Free Review
3.1.2006: The A+ Team
2.22.2006: Status
2.8.2006: Random Musings
2.1.2006: Also Known As Impudence
1.25.2006: Music and the Portability Thereof
1.18.2006: Proof That I Am Brilliant
1.11.2006: Big, Bad Milky Way
1.4.2006: Games! (Part II)
12.28.2005: Games! (Part I)
12.21.2005: Itís About Freedom, Dammit
12.14.2005: Creationists are Stupid
12.7.2005: Sequels are Evil! (Or Not)
11.30.2005: Iíll Start Ranting Now
11.23.2005: Do We Not Learn?
11.16.2005: Oily
11.9.2005: Asking the Wrong Questions
11.2.2005: And Now, Even More to Fear
10.26.2005: Housework
10.19.2005: Schadenfreude
10.12.2005: Punching Elvis Ď05
10.5.2005: Pesky Competition
9.28.2005: So, What Happened?
9.21.2005: Spokes-
9.14.2005: Corn, Creamed
9.7.2005: Talking Out of Oneís Ass
8.31.2005: Midnight Radio
8.24.2005: This Week
8.17.2005: Safe Driving
8.10.2005: Tips for Motivational Speakers
8.3.2005: Spam
7.27.2005: Misc.
7.20.2005: Out Sick
7.13.2005: In Concert
7.6.2005: Painful Realization
6.29.2005: So, there I was...
6.22.2005: Wednesday? Dammit!
6.15.2005: PSA
6.8.2005: Non-exempt
6.1.2005: Questions, No Answers - Part 7
5.25.2005: Questions, No Answers Ė Part 3
5.18.2005: MMORPGs and Me
5.11.2005: Hey, Look Over There!
5.4.2005: Dust
4.27.2005: My Own Damn Yardwork Tale
4.20.2005: Starfighters
4.13.2005: Work: Busy.
3.30.2005: Hole (fiction)
3.23.2005: Impressive
3.16.2005: The Thrilling Adventures of John Paul II
3.9.2005: Do-It-Yourself
3.2.2005: Want
2.23.2005: Tar
2.2.2005: Kyra
1.19.2005: Titan and Bids
1.12.2005: Told You So
1.5.2005: 2005: Year of the Spiny Urchin
12.29.2004: That Long, Lonely Stretch of Days
12.22.2004: Not Exactly a Christmas Special
12.15.2004: Shaver, Electric, New
12.8.2004: Memory
12.1.2004: Cant, Version Something Or Other
11.24.2004: Peasant (fiction)
11.17.2004: Ped (fiction)
11.10.2004: I Got Nothiní
11.3.2004: ARGH
10.27.2004: And another thing...
10.20.2004: Realizing Something About Faith (a bit of a rant)
10.13.2004: A Rambling Political Screed
10.6.2004: A Lamentable Array of Words
9.29.2004: Random Neuron Firings
9.22.2004: Recovered Flight Log, 837b
9.15.2004: Salad: A Discussion
9.8.2004: File Transfer Protocol (Part 3)
9.1.2004: File Transfer Protocol (Part 2)
8.25.2004: File Transfer Protocol (Part 1)
8.18.2004: What Iím Listening To Now
8.11.2004: The Post-Collapse World, Part II: An Overview of the World and Possible Futures
8.4.2004: The Post-Collapse World, Part I: How Did We Get Here?
7.28.2004: Introduction to the Future
7.21.2004: Military-Approved Diet Plan
7.14.2004: Three People, All Stupid
7.7.2004: Holidays, The Scheduling Of
6.30.2004: Fiercely Logical Revisionism
6.23.2004: A Single Glance: An Embellishment
6.16.2004: Krislee's Trial Part VI
6.9.2004: Krisleeís Trial: Part I
6.2.2004: Wanted: Abusable Power
5.26.2004: The Hand of Al-Abn, Part the Fifth
5.19.2004: Influence and Expectations
5.12.2004: 1935
5.5.2004: GameTech: MV-84 Anti-Vampire Rifle
4.28.2004: Tools
4.21.2004: Item 1: A Letter (fiction)
4.14.2004: Last Week, Continued
4.7.2004: All Music Doesnít Suck (For Now)
3.31.2004: (679 in <5)
3.24.2004: Restocking ideas, will reopen soon.
3.17.2004: Meeting-Induced Mental Degeneration
3.10.2004: My Moment of Truth (fiction)
3.3.2004: A Little Unexpected Shopping (fiction)
2.25.2004: Change of Address (fiction)
2.18.2004: Homeowner Complaints
2.11.2004: Godhood (fiction)
2.4.2004: Movies and Spouses
1.28.2004: Party Observations
1.21.2004: Observations on Idiocy
1.14.2004: Harlock on His Own: A Snack Tragedy
1.7.2004: Lose Weight Now!
12.31.2003: ent Point of View

12.24.2003: Scene from a Lab
12.17.2003: Like a movie review, but without being useful
12.10.2003
12.3.2003: Spin-Bots for a Better World (fiction)
11.26.2003: Just the Messenger Here
11.19.2003: Insert Relevant Title Here
11.5.2003: Old School
10.29.2003: Prickly
10.22.2003: Frustration
10.15.2003: Not Fiction This Week
10.8.2003: Last Day at the Office (fiction)
10.1.2003: A Stitch in Time (fiction)
9.24.2003: Final Exam (fiction)
9.17.2003: Minutes of the Release Meeting
9.10.2003: Killing Time (fiction)
9.3.2003: Words, Naughty
8.27.2003: Training
8.20.2003: Word Dissociation
8.13.2003: 20/2 - 1 Questions
8.6.2003: Various Pieces Brought Together
7.30.2003: Why I'm Laughing At Your Suggestion
7.23.2003: Skiffy Kids
7.16.2003: Universe Upgrade (fiction)
7.9.2003: The Madness of...
7.2.2003: Bilious Effluvia
6.25.2003: Re-rebuttal
6.18.2003: Senator Raving Monster Looney
6.11.2003: Fools!
6.4.2003: Imbalance of Humours
5.28.2003: Music
5.21.2003: This is Not the Column That I Was Looking For
5.14.2003: Kicking Ass
5.7.2003: It Stands to Reason
4.30.2003: Running Thoughts
4.23.2003:
4.16.2003: Vive la revolution
4.9.2003: Ten Minutes to Midnight
4.2.2003: Game Reviews Part 2: Wherein Harlock Burns With Shame
3.26.2003: Game Reviews
3.19.2003: Put Your Butt On The Line
3.12.2003: Back to My Strengths
3.5.2003: Keeping the Theme on Track
2.26.2003: It's My Anniversary, So I'm Taking a Day Off
2.19.2003: Status Report
2.12.2003: Harlock's 2002 Movie List
2.5.2003: GameTech: GunSlave
1.29.2003: Fickle Employment
1.22.2003: Sanctity of Hypocrisy Day
1.15.2003: The Perils of Audiophilia
1.8.2003: Rules for Buying Gifts for Children
1.1.2003: A Miniature New Yearís Resolution
12.25.2002: Merry Christmas!
12.18.2002: I've Been Busy
12.11.2002: Letís Look at Obscure News Stories
12.4.2002: U-S-A! Is-Not-Gay!
11.27.2002: The Fifth Dentist
11.20.2002: Drawn Back Into the Fray
11.13.2002: Potato Chips, Mostly
11.6.2002: I'm Not Going to Get What I Want, But I Know Whom to Blame
10.30.2002: Testing, testing...
10.23.2002: Tech!
10.16.2002: Block
10.9.2002: Et tu, Brute?
10.2.2002: Hardware Envy
9.25.2002: We Have Met the Enemy (and you know the rest)
9.18.2002: The Great Fratocracy
9.11.2002: Their Fundamentalism: Bad! Our Fundamentalism: Double-Plus Good!
9.4.2002: There's Mocking To Be Done
8.28.2002: No column this week.
8.21.2002: Too Damn Many
8.14.2002: Tools, Useless and/or Silly
8.7.2002: The Zipper Question
7.31.2002: Things I Just Don't Get
7.24.2002: No time for titles
7.17.2002: Ants, the Return
7.10.2002: 3/4 of the Way
7.3.2002: Vouchers for Everyone!
6.26.2002: Uselessness in Advertising
6.19.2002: Mice
6.12.2002: Keyboards
6.5.2002: Thoughts on Other Cants
5.29.2002: Employer Hints: Part 2
5.22.2002: Employer Hints: Part 1
5.15.2002: In Offense of Nuts
5.8.2002: Keeping it Real
4.10.2002: On Hiatus
4.3.2002: Mr. Beelzebub? Your Advocate, Please
3.27.2002: Ants
3.20.2002: Driving Choices
3.13.2002: Car Choices
3.6.2002: Food Choices
2.27.2002: Recovering
2.20.2002: So, what's my excuse?
2.13.2002: Book Review, Pt. 2
2.6.2002: Book Review, Pt. 1
1.30
1.23: You Want Movie Rants?
1.16: More Things Vaguely Sinister
1.9: 212
1.2: Brand New Year
12.26: Ego
12.19: Now It's Just Getting Ridiculous
12.12: More Comic Reviews
12.5: More On Bad Guys
11.28: A Tech Writer's Guide to Procrastination
11.21: On the Subject of Freedom
11.14: I'm Sorry, Alaska
11.7: Credit Where It's Due
10.31: Misc. (Monsters and Beasties and Gaming)
10.24: Procrastination and the Assignment of Blame
10.17: Bad, Bad TV Ideas
10.10: Furry Filk Music (Horrors Of)
10.3: (filler)
9.26: My Report on Stars!
9.19: My Desert Island Discs
9.12: (no title)
9.5: Pouring Oil on Troubled Waters
8.29: This is a Filler Column
8.22: Not 500 in 500
8.15: This is a Rant
8.8: The Most Insane People in the World
8.1: Yet Another Brilliant Idea (Not Mine)
7.25: Talibantastic!
7.18: Topics, Assorted ($.39 ea)
7.11: Why Fry's Can Bite Me
7.4: Beating a High Horse
6.27: I Warned You!
6.20: Opposing Viewpoint
6.13: Art (contd.)
6.6: Sweet, Sweet Candy
5.30: One of the Three Taboo Topics
5.23: Miserable Sequels
5.16: Comments on The Picture
5.9: More About Human Rights
5.2: Damfino
4.25: Art, Defined
4.18: A Confession
4.11: Brilliant Ideas of Mine
4.4: Leaning Threateningly Towards Philosophy
3.28: New Rules for Etiquette: Greetings
3.21: The
3.14: Back to the Ranting
3.7: Control
2.28: This is How it Happened: Smoke Detectors
2.21: A Hard Look at Robots
2.14: Bite Me, Alaska
2.7
1.31
1.24
1.17