Last week's column was about good music in 2006. This week is about the overrated crap. Or even non-crap, but still overrated.
First, though, I'm going to rant about a musical pet peeve of mine: People singing about how awesome they are. That annoys the hell out of me. Singing about how sexy, desirable, beautiful, and/or badass you are, or even just repeating your name (or band name) over and over in the song: That's going to make me stop listening to you. I just don't care, and I damn well don't want to hear some idiot boasting about how wonderful they are. Fine, you love yourself, we get it. So that, right there, is basically why I dislike Gwen Stefani, and that Fergie chick, and Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake, and 90% of hip-hop. I want to listen to music, not join a cult. Wouldn't it be easier to just whack off all day in front of a full-length mirror? Alas, these people feel obligated to tell the entire world how incredibly wonderful they are. And then people actually buy that crap. What the hell, people? Why are you encouraging them? You idiots buying Fergie's music really do want to join a cult, don't you? Cripes, people, she's horrible. The world does not need more idiotic pop music made by egotistical assholes.
Fortunately for me, it's only poorly-suppressed curiosity that causes me to stumble upon that sort of thing. In the vain hope that they'll be playing decent music, I occasionally check MTV or VH1. This, of course, is a stupid thing to do, as, in the rare cases when those channels and their offshoots are actually playing music videos, they're always Nelly Furtado, Gwen Stefani, or This Week's Interchangeable Hip Hop Singer (mit die blingen, of course).
I don't listen to the radio these days: I'm afraid of what lurks there.
I have not, for example, heard Gwen Stefani's song in which she yodels. Even my almost-irrepressible monkey curiosity has its limits.
So, what was hugely overrated in 2006? As I'm going to be confining myself to indie/alternative music, I realize, of course, that I can list almost anything here, and you're likely to have absolutely no idea of what I'm talking about. But this is my column, and I'll admit that I'm tempted to start making up bands and waiting to see whether anyone calls me on it. But I'll leave that for another time.
Warren Ellis described Joanna Newsom as "some yowling autistic playing a harp with a brick." Which is exactly right. If you want to listen to crap and blather on that it's just "difficult" and "an acquired taste," then that's your right. But that just means that some people can delude themselves into thinking that they enjoy listening to a yowling autistic playing a harp with a brick. Or will take great pains in doing so in order to prove how utterly hip they are, when everyone else knows that they're just pretentious twits. Maybe her voice is, indeed, an acquired taste. But you know what? So are shit sandwiches. Some things just aren't worth the effort. Or any effort.
Cold War Kids: They're mediocre. At best. They aren't new, or fresh, or a return to rock-infused pop or any of that crap. They're pretty dull, actually.
Jenny Lewis: She's OK. Not bad, but certainly not great. She's background music. Except for her cover of "Handle with Care," which is an affront against God and Man. Take a decent enough song, and then strip it of all emotion and sing as if you and your friends are bored out of your skulls? Yes, what a great idea.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah: Hey, who doesn't enjoy thin-voiced whiny singing? Me, that's who.
The Pipettes: Holy crap, the hype! Yes, it's true that their songs are decent and catchy, but too damn many bloggers and reviewers have been proclaiming their undying love for their music. They're OK, not great, and I just can't see the genius in their songs that so many other people are raving about. Or maybe they're secretly just trying to encourage more "cute women wearing matching dresses" bands. There are certainly worse things in the world to want.
The Decemberists: Reedy, thin-voiced, whiny, sappy music.