OricXe - Column for 11/17




My name is Joe. OricXe is currently busy so he asked me to write an article for him. Who am I? I am Joe Meganpox, OricXe's PA. Some time ago OricXe hooked up with a girl who's keeping him really busy if you know what I mean…wink, wink


You don't know what I mean? Well, it seems that OricXe's really good with animals and his girl is keeping him busy with trying to get her new found dog and cats not to leave their excrement in her house.


So, I had no idea about what to write about today and I had absolutely no idea what Cant was about I read most of the articles of prior writers. I see that Mr. O has been writing lot of shit about psychokinesis lately and I thought I'd continue the trend by relating a few events. Am I the only one who thinks that his stories are kind of shitty?


Anyway, I was at home when I needed a smoke. The spaza shop was the nearest to get some as I didn't have any on me. A spaza's a shop with just a counter and you tell the person what you want and he or she fetches it for you. Smoking is not something I do regularly and the last time I bought smokes at this shop was more than a few months ago. Many people, three or four, were in front of the counter when I got there, so I just stood at the counter waiting for the girl to finish serving the guy she was busy with and look at me so that could tell her what I wanted.


She searched around for something. When she was finished she looked at me and said, "We haven't any more of your brand here sir," Flustered, I walked away and let out a sigh. I would get no loving from the sweet odour and taste of fags tonight(that sounds kind of weird doesn't it?). It was then that I realized that I hadn't told her what I wanted. She couldn't have assumed that's what I wanted because I don't remember her ever being there when I bought ciggies.


So that's one thing down, one to go.


I had a dream.


I had a dream where this guy who wore glasses like the ones Frodo wore in Sin City stuck shit into every orifice (seems like OricXe's a derivative of that) of my body. I clearly remember him sticking lipstick in my ear. I had no idea what was happening so I woke up, went to the bathroom, back to bed and slept once more.


The dream I had disturbed me. In it I saw the love of my life. We were totally alone and standing on opposite sides of a room. I looked at her and moved closer. I took her hands, said something and hugged her. It felt real and she felt real, not the way people usually feel in dreams when they stick stuff into your ears.


I woke up.


During the day I couldn't stop thinking about her in the dream. Because you see, it's been about a year since I last saw her. Have you ever had the feeling that you and someone else are both having the same dream? That's what I thought.


Sleep took me into its wings when my head touched the pillow. She was there again. I went to her once more.


We were talking when I mentioned that maybe she wasn't just something conjured up by my mind to make me crazy in the waking hours. She replied that she wasn't and I mentioned to her that we should wake up. I would then phone her, let it ring once and put down. She would then do the same.


It is now exactly 3:45 and I just finished a thirty minute conversation about the weird shit I've just written about.

Columns by OricXe