OricXe - Column for 11/24

“You can’t do this

“You can’t do this…” said Mr. Thouless and he proceeded to do a cartwheel and a back flip. It was an amazing achievement being that he weighed more that 120kgs and had a waist in excess of two meters.


‘Yes, I can!’ said I and almost broke my neck. My arm was most definitely broken.


“What did you want to talk about?” Thouless asked me.


‘I saw this girl being bitten by a shark. Piece by piece it ate her. First it had the feet, then it bit of a piece of leg, but she kept on swimming. He bit off a piece of the other leg and then turned around because she was already ashore with both legs intact. No harm no fowl.’


“Boy! Have you gone crazy?”


‘That’s just a dream I had the other day. I thought that I’d like to share it with you so that you can maybe laugh your ass out.’


“Well I didn’t. That’s just fucking weird my boy.”


‘Sir, do you ever pay attention to your dreams? No, I don’t for the meaning they might bring in your waking life. I mean just noticing everything that’s going on in the dream and enjoying the experience of dreaming.’


“Not really son. I don’t see the need to. Why are you asking me this shit?”


‘Dreams are a really important part of my life sir and I like to think that I have some of the most original dreams than the rest of mankind. For instance a really good nightmare can scare me more than Freddy Kruger ever has.’


“OK, so tell me about all this noticing nonsense.”


‘Ever notice the environment sir? What I see is that sometimes the place I find myself in, albeit familiar has somehow changed to suit the purposes of the dream. Usually the dream unfolds in a place that is familiar to me although the architecture or size of the place has changed enough for me to notice.’


“So you can find yourself in your bathroom, but then realize that you’re in a toilet. Is that what you’re saying?”


‘No sir, maybe an example will do. You know Joe right?’


“Yes the guy who lives at the bottom of the street in the small house?”


‘That’s him. Someone with many guns was chasing me and I ran through Joe’s home into a very large unending field. Needless to say I still got shot in the back because there weren’t any trees or something similar to hide behind.’