OricXe - Column for 12/21


A harsh wind blew on this day. Sand flew into his eyes on this day. On this day he decided that a haircut would do. It was on this day that he found out that fate is one cruel motherfucker.

“Aggggh!” he screamed. “Why do you do this to me? Why do you subject me to the worse of your cruelty!” By this point he knew he was the object of many a stare. He then blushed as many humans do. He wiped the tears from his eyes, picked up his cone and blew away some of the dirt. He smiled and thought, “All was well again with the world.”

Someone, apparently not someone who stares at grown men crying, bumped into him.

Tis when the cone fell again.

Now, I wonder if you have ever seen a bodybuilder? Have you ever seen a bodybuilder stand next to a balding short guy? By the will of the same cruel fate; the cone-guy was a champion bodybuilder and the unlucky fella that happened to be balding was about to get the mashing of his life. A mashing as never seen before judging by the look on the bodybuilders face.

Nostrils flared. Muscles tightened. Muscles enlarged. Veins swelled. The small closed his eyes very tightly when the bodybuilder started moving towards him.

Tis then also then the massively giant bodybuilder slipped on his fallen cone and broke his back, ribs, and jaw. With a shivering jaw, the small guy ran away.

Where he ran to no-one knows. Though what everyone knows is that cone-guy was quite hurt. He was crying again. The awful wail caused all to close their ears with their hands. Some without hands used their elbows. Some ripped up their wheelchair tyres and used the tubing. Such was the wail of the muscled cone guy that some people in China heard it.

But China does not concern muscled-guy. He has stopped crying and is assessing the damage. He curses the small guy. He curses the cone. He curses the damn slippery shoes. He curses the damn uncomfortability of the hospital be he’s lying in.

But he does not curse the nurse who gives him sponge baths. Oh, he could never curse her. For when it’s late he hopes to have a date, all because of fate. And that’s just great.

Columns by OricXe