OricXe - Column for 9/8

Walking home from school, Tevor and Igor, friends of mine, saw a guy having a shit in the bush and proceeded to make fun of him like any normal teenager would do. The guy in the blue overall swore at us and we walked on laughing. The day proceeded uneventfully.

 

The next day I found myself walking home alone as neither Igor nor Tevor were present. My history teacher was playing some sort of weird bowling game on the field with soccer balls. "Whatcha doin' sir?"

"Hey Orice. I'm just wanted to see if any ants will climb onto a ball while it is rolling."

"You must be the weirdest motherfucker I have ever come across."

"Aren't you too young to be swearing like that?" said Mr. Weird History

"Not, really sir. I learnt to swear from a toddler." I replied and went on my way into the bush that was routine my way home.

 

Into the bush I went and was most surprised to see the blue overalled-guy doing the same thing again. I went on without saying anything.

 

He caught me as I was exiting the bush pathway. I loosened myself and ran immediately.

 

It seemed to me that I wasn't moving no matter how hard I tried.

"Got you now, you foul-mouthed putrification."

"Is putrification even a word?" I asked him.

"No" he said, "I don't really know, it's just one of those words that makes sense when you use it. Microsoft Word says it isn't. Anyway, moving on."

 

Suddenly we were in our living room. Now as normal living rooms go, this one was normal with a coffee table, a lounge suite and a wall unit. The guy was standing behind the coffee table, right in front of the wall unit, and  by some miracle I seemed to be on the other side of the table away from this vile blue-overalled creature. I pushed the table in the hopes of making the use of his legs obsolete.

 

Nothing happened to him. It went right through him. "What in the name of all ladies' underwear is going on here?" I asked calmly, but extremely confused. Blue-overalls levitated while the table was pushed firmly against him. He opened his overall and on it was this yellow-orange like circle, with a white X and some other stuff I can't remember (I was only 10, you know).

 

I couldn't make out his face as he had a hood on and it was obscured by some shadow. He looked at me (Don't ask me how I know this if his face was invisible) and said,

 

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"

 

So, have you had any weird dreams lately?

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