Wankers.
Just a pile of wankers. More wankers than I can shake my throbbing stick at. Yes, my stick, as in my penis for everyone convinced I can't write more than 15 words without reaching deep and slapping my privates into the argument.
The French. Some say that the French are an entire nation of wankers. I beg to differ. Fuck that. I'm not begging anyone. I say that the French are decent folks. I spent a week around Paris and didn't run into a single stereotype. Everyone treated me well, from the baker who sold me a baguette, to the police officer who did his best to answer my questions in retarded French, to the exceedingly nice young lady who let me buy tickets to the Arche de la Défense five minutes before closing.
But any large group of people hides its share wankers. Take the young French folk protesting. They're all pissed because they might have to hold down a job some day (shock!), a job where they might have to work more than 35 hours a week (travesty!) with less than six weeks of paid vacation (say it isn't so!), and might get fired or laid off at some point in the future for reasons beyond their control (the horror!).
Big fucking waa, you spoiled little cunts. You want to "work to live" rather than "live to work." What a quaint little saying. Too bad that the rabid hounds of the global market are snapping at everyone's heels. If you don't want to work so much, who the hell is going to subsidize your modern Western lifestyle? All the kids you're not breeding or all the kids in shitholes around the world working for pennies an hour? French pride and nuclear power can only get you so much.
Oh, and you say that you're not disposable? Why in the world would you think such a thing? Because you're French? You think you have some inborn right to wine and cheese? What exactly sets you apart from all the other feeding and screwing and warring and talking people on the planet? What about all those poor fuckers in Bangladesh breaking down the floating ecological disasters, the tanker ships that hauled oil to keep your French ass in nylon and scooting along in your piece-of-shit freakin' Citroën? That god damned Citroën DS makes AMC Gremlins and Pacers look like pinnacles of automotive engineering and styling. The first production car with disc brakes? BFD. I don't care if it was the first production car to produce single-malt scotch while flying and giving me a hummer. It still looks like something crapped from the ass of Richard Rogers.
So relax, young French people. Enjoy what's left of the ride while you can. You are small and you have no money. The corporations are huge and rolling in dough, and they don't give a shriveled shit, especially the corporations who can't read your freakin' protest signs, who lay safely outside your borders beyond the influence of your vote.
Speaking of votes, I can't say enough about home-grown wankers. Our Congress is just plain redolent with them. Either it's the Democrats talking out their ass or the Republicans trying to do me up the ass. Republicans are for less government? How is hundreds of billions of dollars spent in Iraq "less government"? Granted, we're not just shoveling dollar bills into the Persian Gulf. Some of the billions are being spent on folks like Halliburton, so those dollars will eventually trickle down into untaxed Bahamian bank accounts.
On the one hand, I keep hearing the parental rhetoric about how irresponsible American consumers are digging themselves deeper and deeper into debt. On the other, I watch as our government loans itself more cash to cover its titanic spending splurge. All I hear is "Do as I tell you, not as I do you and your children up the ass with $30,000 dildos."
Rather than one dickless Democrat calling for presidential censure, why not just let the U.S. default on its debt? Wouldn't that be another grand feather in Bush Jr.'s fully plumed cap.
Pakeha