Well, we are leaving Washington D.C.

I'm never sure how to punctuate a sentence like that. The 'D.C.' portion already comes with periods on account of being an abbreviation - should I then add yet another period because it's also the end of a sentence? But two periods just looks wrong.

Anyway. We're heading back to Northern California, to live closer to our kinfolk. And because, let's face it, Northern California is simply the nicest place on Earth to live. It's certainly superior to the D.C. area.

Which is not to say that the D.C. area is without its charms. Let me recount some of them.

• Will miss: fireflies. Insects that glow are just cool.
• Will miss: snow. Just about the right amount, too, and never really freezing cold stuff like in, say, Buffalo. No, just enough to make snowballs and to turn the yard into a winter wonderland for a few days. My wife would disagree - she dislikes winter - but this is my column and I like snow.
• Won't miss: humidity. God how I despise the summers here. I cool off by sweating, dammit. In the Central Valley that was an asset! Here it just means that from June through August I'm effectively wearing a wetsuit.
• Will miss: the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens. Lily pads! If you're in D.C. and you want to check out an awesome second-tier attraction, visit the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens. Tons of turtles, dragonflies, the occasional snake or muskrat or heron, and lily pads and lotuses of all shapes and sizes. And, very surprisingly, no mosquitoes. I suspect because the habitat is such that local mosquito predation is very, very heavy.
• Will miss: Fall. Let's face it, fall is pretty, and D.C. has a pretty fall. All the leaves changing colors, and there's that certain feel in the cool evening air when everything is still... indescribable.
• Will miss: Flowering trees. There are a few on the west coast, but only a few. Frankly, flowers on a tree still strikes me as odd and I've lived here for five years.
• Won't miss: Politics. It's everywhere here, in the air, and - possibly because the country is being run by the worst batch of evil, criminal men since its inception, and evil and/or stupid people keep voting for them - it sickens me. Physically. Getting back to a land where the billboards are for ASICs rather than defense contractors will do me good.
• Will miss: Thunderstorms. Sure, one of them on the Fourth of July almost dropped a tree onto my house - actually, it did, but not the trunk merely a branch - but they're still cool. The power of nature and all that.
• Won't miss: The drivers. Oh. My. God. I know that California traffic is bad - I lived in LA for two years, the Bay Area for more - but, I'm sorry, drivers in this area are borderline retarded. When the power is out and the traffic lights are dead, they simply blow through at 45 mph. All of them, not just a few. They have no idea who gets to go next at a four way stop. They cannot merge; either they will come to a full stop and wait for Moses to appear and part the other lane of traffic, or they will glue themselves to the bumper ahead of them and let no one in. In Maryland, you take your examination to get your driver's license in a parking lot. That's right, a lot. Not the public streets. A vast percentage of people in the D.C. area simply do not know how to drive with any skill whatsoever.
• Will miss: The countryside. Oh, I love the California countryside too. But there's something very Currier & Ives about the fields and forests of the rural East Coast, and I always enjoy going out for a drive, ride, or walk in them.
• Won't miss: Smoking sections. Yes, you can still smoke in restaurants out here. Wacky, eh? Bleah.
• Won't miss: Raking leaves. Sure, fall is great, but there are a few practical aspects to it that aren't so much fun...
• Will miss: My neighborhood. Our house is a nice little house in a great neighborhood. I have faith that we will find a neighborhood which we will become as fond of once we are back West; still, I will miss Calvert Hills.
• Will miss: My butcher shop. A real, honest to god, blue-collar butcher shop. Supermarket meat simply isn't as good (or as safe). Hopefully we can find another, but it's not likely.
• Won't miss: Living in the nation's capitol. At one point it might have been kind of exciting, driving past the Capitol and the White House to work every day. All the monuments, the museums, the history. But you know, I've kind of done it now. D.C. is a great town to visit, but as a resident, the power of the various monuments and such just isn't as gripping. Other metropolitan areas, the Bay Area in particular, have equally good zoos and museums and cultural events. New York, sure. No one can equal New York. But D.C. just isn't all that.

On the whole, I'm very glad to be heading back. Sure, my stomach is wrapped in knots up at the moment, trying to face all the stuff we have to get done, all at once: Moving house, finding a new place to live, finding new day care for our son, selling the old house, starting a new job... all at once! Blarg! But I tell myself that, a month from now, I will have dealt with most of it. It's all doable, with enough effort. Change can be good.

Even when it's a change back.

- Sun Ra

Columns by Sun Ra