Are your water bills outrageous? Do you wish that you could dramatically reduce the amount you spend on water, but don't know how? You know, as we move into the twenty-first century, the constant water crises we suffer are only going to get worse. Western states are parched and Eastern states suffer from old, leaky pipe infrastructures.

What if we ran out of water?

Did you know that one of the largest users of water in your household is your dishwasher? The average dishwasher can use thirty-seven British liters of water in a single cleansing!

Wouldn't you like to cut down on your horrendous water usage? To free yourself from those wet shackles?

Then you should consider the new Lucifron dishwasher! It cleans your dishes with the power of fire.

Yes, no more outrageous water bills. No more buying expensive dish soap! The Lucifron's patented Inciniclean system scours your dishes with fifty million BTUs of searing heat; enough to flash sterilize an entire cow! Food waste is not just burned, it is atomized!

Water is so often used for cleaning, but water is also the natural home of germs, paramecium, amoebas, and dysentery. Do you want your child to get cholera? Of course not! Then why are you still washing your dishes with water?

Use fire! Nothing can live in fire! Scientist have proven that, above a certain temperature, not even germs can live - and the Lucifron dishwasher gets twelve thousand times that hot. Put the infernal vortex inside a Lucifron dishwasher to work protecting you!

The Lucifron dishwasher with the patented Inciniclean system is the answer to all of these problems. And it is available, with free home installation, from any major department store or home outlet.

Get a Lucifron dishwasher, and clean your dishes with the pure cleansing power of fire. Your family, and your pocketbook, will thank you!

Disclaimers:

The Lucifron dishwasher should only be used by adults. Do not open the Lucifron dishwasher while the dishwasher is in operation. Use only genuine Pyrex(tm) or other autoclave-safe dishware. Do not leave flammable materials in the Lucifron dishwasher. Do not leave flammable materials near the Lucifron dishwasher. For safety, the Lucifron dishwasher should be placed in room discontinuous with the rest of your house. Do not use the Lucifron dishwasher on days when it is above sixty-seven degrees Fahrenheit and not raining. Do not attempt to use the Lucifron dishwasher for other purposes such as cooking or warming your socks. Pets may evince irrational fear of the Lucifron dishwasher. Use protective and inflammable garments when operating the Lucifron dishwasher. Ensure that the Lucifron dishwasher is not resting on poured concrete or other material that liquifies at high heat.

The makers of the Lucifron dishwasher assume no responsibility for any injuries, death, or disappearances which may or may not be caused by the Lucifron dishwasher.

Columns by Sun Ra