Wanton Hussy - Column for 3/18

Wanton Hussy's Porn Reviews and Ratings

Somehow I made it to the grand age of 28 without really ever seeing a pornographic film. I was a teensy bit embarrassed about this, since most of my friends have seen them and say they're no big deal. Yet I was always too inhibited to go into the curtained-off portion of a video store and rent one, or into a sex shop. (1) And since I'd never seen one, I was embarrassed to have my lover rent one for our viewing pleasure. What if I wasn't turned on? What if I was?

Why even bother trying to overcome this shyness, you may ask. I just decided it was time. It seemed wrong that that I'd never seen one, being relatively well versed in written pornography/erotica. True, my perusal of magazines has been limited to the occasional "Playboy," "Penthouse," and those awful "Hustler"s that I found in my dad's briefcase in junior high, but I wasn't as afraid of them. I guess as both a sex-positive person and a feminist, I wanted to see for myself if visual images of naked women/people having sex were a) exploitive or not and b) arousing or not. I still haven't really seen enough magazine or internet porn to have a conclusion on that, but for some reason they just bore me. Which brings up a lot of other questions - why is it boring to me and not for others (men)? Are men really turned on by this stuff? Are men just easier to turn on? What's the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

So I decided to make it a project. When in doubt or fear, approach the problem as an academic question. I decided that I could walk into the local smut shop with a syllabus of movies to rent and watch without being embarrassed. I would rent straight porn, gay porn, and lesbian porn (with real lesbians). Instead, a friend with a porn collection saved me from having to pretend I was still an undergraduate. So I borrowed a stack of videos from different genres and decades, and here is Wanton Hussy's Porn Reviews and Ratings: (2)

Still to be viewed: "Justine 2," "Delta of Venus." Feel free to email recommendations/suggestions.

Stay tuned in for next week, when I'll babble about some of my conclusions about all of this.

1) Sure, I'll go into the sex shop, but I won't buy anything. It's too gross in there, too brightly lit and so obviously catering to men. It's like they make this agreement with conservatives, that yes, they're going to sell sexually explicit goods, but they'll do their best to make everyone in there feel like a sicko pervert and ashamed.

2) Rating System: NNC* N = 1 Nipple Erect NN = 2 Nipples Erect NNC - 2 Nipples and 1 Clit Erect NNC* - 2 Nipples, 1 Clit Erect, and I'd watch it again

3) Fake lesbian being my term for lesbian sex scenes featuring long fingernails, plastic boobs, and either distaste or obvious boredom in the participants.

Columns by Wanton Hussy