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"Greetings, oh seeker of knowledge, you have traveled far across the vast desert to ask the Oracle a question. May the bounty of the Oracle's divine wisdom guide you to your destiny."
"You say that to every visitor?" "Every applicant is unique, and just as the Oracle peers into the sands of time to..." "Enough." "Really?" "Look, I've been in the desert for five days, I don't need this." "How about some water? Or is your need for answers so demanding that you must do without?" "Yes, water I need." "Some supplicants find that the lack of water allows them to perceive the Oracle's wisdom in a more lucid state." "Do most applicants have really really sharp knives and short tempers?" "A surprising amount, I've found. Here you go... remember, don't drink too quickly or... ok, yes, I'll be quiet." "You get many visitors here?" "Oh, about a dozen a year... mostly humans, some mutants, occasional zombies." "Zombies?" "Yes. We used to just kill them outright, but when I happened to mention it to the Oracle we were commanded to let them be. We were told that when the next zombie approached we should run for the hills and hide. We didn't think it altogether a wise thing to do, being that the Oracle would be defenseless, but we did as we were told." "And?" "And the next zombie that come we ran into the hills and hid." "And?!" "Well, that was it. We watched him shamble into the cave, watched him shamble out of the cave, and when we were quite sure that he was gone, we climbed down and found that the Oracle was quite unharmed." "Not missing any brains?" "Well that wouldn't be a ... oh, you haven't met the Oracle yet, of course. All will be explained. Oh, for Heaven's sake, put the knife away, you'll find out soon enough." "So besides human, mutants and zombies, no one else? I'm the first Panoman you've met?" "Panoman? I thought you were a mutant." "Mutant? Do I look like a mutant? Do you see these three eyes of mine? Mutants are corrupted humans! I am a Panoman!" "Yes. Yes. I see. Panoman, right. If you'll come right this way, the Oracle resides in this cave. Oh, before you enter... I should warn you." "Yes?" "The Oracle can be rather cryptic." "Unlike yourself?" "Well, rather more so. I gather that is the intrinsic nature of Oracles... being mysterious and cryptic. As I understand it, the very act of trying to fathom the Oracle's answer brings you closer to realization." "Which is something a straight answer wouldn't do?" "Apparently not. In any case, when listening to the Oracle, one should... well, hmmm." "Yes?" "The Oracle has a very unique view on life, and it might be best if you took certain things the Oracle says with a grain of salt. Mostly anything to do with spinning..." "Spinning? You're saying he has a spinning fixation?" "We don't usually refer to the Oracle as a "he", and yes, definitely a spinning fixation." |