|
I’m not a big sports fan. At least, not of big sports.
I don’t watch any games on TV. Although you can occasionally find me swearing at a game, that’s only because the game ran long and impinged on some show that I had hoped to tape. I don’t go to any stadiums to watch events. I think the last time I went to see any sports event was when my dad took me to a Dodgers game -- after the dentist yanked out the last of my baby teeth. Furthermore, there are some games that just leave me cold. I mean, basketball, woah, who cares? And the egos… all sports have their megalomaniacs, but Lordy, these guys put them all to shame. Frankly I would rather play a game of basketball than watch a game… and those that know me know I am not built for playing basketball. The reason I bring sports up, though, is that I have an odd habit; ever four years I become a complete and utter sports nutzbar. There’s something about the World Cup that just sinks deep in me and gets me to follow as many games of it as I can. It’s like having some sort of sports bear living inside me that hibernates four years, only to rise ravenous -- gorging deep and red for a solid month. For the World Cup I’ll wake up at 5 AM day after day and drag myself down to the local pub to catch the matches. I’ll go in and work weekends when my favorite teams aren’t playing so that I can have some saved up flex time to spend when my teams are playing. I’ll gather around the water cooler (or whatever is standing in place for that chitchat enabling device) and talk about the games with people I’d normally never interact with. When it comes time to watch another match, I’ll always head down to the local pub to watch it -- wading into a mob of anxious, cheering, swearing, and smack talking fans. The game just isn’t the same being watched quietly on the boob tube – not even close. I’ll eagerly suffer through the same side effects that comes from ignoring the game for four years. I forget all the rules and have to re-learn them during the opening round of games. How’s does the off-sides rule work? What fouls constitute an automatic yellow card? How long do the red cards last? I forget the strategies used, and the national rivalries that are decades old. I forget how much of a difference a ref can make to a match. These bit of game trivia live in a rich environment for a brief moment in time, only die and be reborn years later like some cicada of minutia. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have only the time to follow a handful of favorite teams throughout the cup. I’ll root for the US, because, well, damn, that would be neat, wouldn’t it? But because I’m wise to the ways of US Soccer and not that bad at game theory either, I’ll also follow England -- because they’re usually sure to make it close to the end. As a third team I’ll usually pick someone who has spunk. This year it was going to be Ghana or Trinidad & Tobago, but unfortunately both of them have been picked off by now. If England actually gets eliminated before the finals, I’ll pick some other longshot (well, how longshot can they be if they make it to the final round of the World Cup? I’ll probably wind up rooting for whoever Brazil plays against, the definite underdog). And then, and then, it’ll be time for my inner World Cup bear to find some nice cave inside my Hippocampus to wait it out for another four years. |